She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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