yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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