a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize