whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
