I could have mohawked her pubes.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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