Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
