guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I AM VODKA MAN
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
