I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
