Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
