Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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