Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
