its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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