my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize