I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
