She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Welp...herpes.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize