I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
wow bdsm is so cute
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
