well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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