Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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