she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Randomize
