Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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