I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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