Texts From Last Night

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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".

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  (519): I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA". http://tfl.nu/ak7j
  Replies (9) Good night (3806) Bad night (1105)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.

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  (828): I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse. http://tfl.nu/gxwi
  Replies (14) Good night (4427) Bad night (1045)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.

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  (608): The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries. http://tfl.nu/yhvv
  Replies (12) Good night (6617) Bad night (1009)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?

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  (612): how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight? http://tfl.nu/54td
  Replies (13) Good night (3871) Bad night (1100)
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  (607): View more from New York

  We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.

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  (607): We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre. http://tfl.nu/5g13
  Replies (10) Good night (3078) Bad night (1138)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.

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  (314): I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY. http://tfl.nu/obak
  Replies (7) Good night (4466) Bad night (967)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day

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  (902): On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day http://tfl.nu/p5su
  Replies (4) Good night (1943) Bad night (668)
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  (714): View more from California

  After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.

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  (714): After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain. http://tfl.nu/appx
  Replies (8) Good night (672) Bad night (1309)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom

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  (240): No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom http://tfl.nu/1eer
  Replies (3) Good night (1164) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.

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  (239): I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night. http://tfl.nu/o908
  Replies (4) Good night (690) Bad night (395)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this

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  (817): There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this http://tfl.nu/hvu0
  Replies (1) Good night (1069) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that

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  (306): well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that http://tfl.nu/qqt3
  Replies (4) Good night (401) Bad night (765)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.

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  (647): He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing. http://tfl.nu/pwny
  Replies (6) Good night (965) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it

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  (978): I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it http://tfl.nu/t1z2
  Replies (1) Good night (594) Bad night (211)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?

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  (804): what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples? http://tfl.nu/z2p1
  Replies (3) Good night (389) Bad night (89)

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