is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.