Only a mothe r could love this liver
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
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