I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
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I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
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He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.