have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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