I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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