talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
