How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Randomize
