she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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