life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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