LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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