woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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