I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
