What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
