i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
His nipple licking is glorious
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