He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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