Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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