the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
