The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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