We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
