how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
