did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
