I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
