i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
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There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
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Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Dick very happy bro
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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