come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
