that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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