I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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