I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
