My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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