I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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