I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
