Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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