I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
