North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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