Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
