is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
