Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
