I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize