You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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