i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
