Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
