My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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