Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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